Choosing a premarital counseling is a personal decision, much like finding the perfect pair of shoes—it has to be the right fit for both you and your partner. While credentials and experience are essential, trust and comfort can be just as important in making therapy a successful, transformative experience.

Start by ensuring that any therapist you consider is licensed and has specific expertise or experience in dealing with the issues you’re facing. Are you struggling with communication, blended family dynamics, or infidelity? Look for someone whose background aligns with your needs. However, don’t underestimate the importance of chemistry. Whether it’s your first call, video chat, or face-to-face meeting, pay attention to how you both feel in their presence. Do you feel heard, respected, and comfortable expressing yourselves without fear of judgment?

Consider the therapist’s approach to counseling. Some professionals specialize in established methods like Emotionally Focused Therapy or the Gottman Method, while others may blend traditional talk therapy with active exercises or creative interventions. Ask about their style: Are they more directive and structured or relaxed and flexible? Are sessions collaborative and inclusive, or does one person tend to dominate? Different styles work for different couples—choose a therapist whose approach motivates you to open up and participate fully.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions up front. How much experience does the therapist have working with couples who share your background or challenges? How do they handle situations when one partner is quieter or more hesitant to participate? How will progress be measured, and what does success look like in their practice? These answers should leave you feeling more assured and clear about what to expect.

Another important aspect is collaboration. The best therapists don’t just talk at you—they invite both partners into the conversation, check in regularly about how things are going, and adapt their strategies to your evolving needs. Notice whether they create an environment where both of you feel equal and safe to share your perspective.

Practical matters should factor into your decision as well. Think about location, availability of appointments, whether they accept your insurance, and whether they offer virtual sessions if your schedules are tight. Flexibility can make regular attendance easier and reduce extra stress.

Finally, remember there’s no shame in switching therapists if it doesn’t feel like a good fit. Therapy is about supporting your growth together, so trust your instincts and don’t settle until you both feel respected and hopeful. The right marriage and family therapist will not only guide you through your challenges but also equip you with tools that last long after the sessions end, helping you build a stronger, healthier relationship as a team.